България в Uncyclopedia.org (the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit 23,085 articles in English)
Първото нещо написано за България са няколко култови реплики:
“Hey you, pretty Stanka!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Bulgaria
“Tell me what you eat and I’ll tell you to go to the hospital.”
~ Brillat-Savarin on Bulgarian cuisine
“Free food for the minorities!”
~ Volen Siderov on Gypsies
“И аз съм малеее! Оп опаа!”
~ Bobi the Turbo on being a bulgarian
Motto: “Аз обичам мач и боза” (I like football and a delicious wheat-based beverage that has small traces of alcohol)
Anthem: “Radka the pirate girl”
Capital Varna (during Winter) and Sofia (during the rest of the Year)
Largest city Dupnitza (in translation: King of the Holes)
Official languages Turbo Pascal
Government Mafia Controlled Teritorry
National Hero(es) Levski, Simeon I, Hristo Stoichkov, Goiko Podrisov
Declaration
of Formation “We poop for less!!!”
Currency LEURO (same as EURO but Bulgarians print it at home on their own)
Religion All bulgarians believe that God is Bulgarian and in the ATAKA (Attack) sect.
Population 71.235 billion only in Sofia (89% gypsys)
Area 2,772,800,000 matchsticks²
Population density -1.10³ people per square metre
Internet TLD .hacked.by.bulgarians
Информация за географията, продукцията, музиката – няколко не особено обемни абзаца. След което идват интересните за българия неща…. Чалгата или както там е озаглавено – Chalga. Mоже би най-дългият материал за страната, който дори не си направих труда да го чета (защо ли?).
Famous Bulgarians
Статията, която най-много ме развесели и заинтригува да прочета докрая.
* GOD – one of the first Bulgarians ever…
– “`I AM PROUD TO BE BE A BULGARIAN` – said God about himself”
~a Bulgarian!
* Azis – Musician, politician and Nobel prize winning scientist. Too fat to be gay, but too gay to be straight.
* John Atanasoff – The man who invented the computer.
* Volen Siderov – Psycho Patriot.
* Todor Zhivkov – Evil Communist dictator, brother of Dracula.
* Hristo Stoichkov – Author of the famous curse “Pichka ti lelina” (Your aunt’s pussy).
* Mitio “The GUN”- people’s man, friend of Kolio Mamata. Gives away free waffles.
* Boiko Borisov – The Bulgarian Chuck Norris. Only mightier.
* Mara Otvarachkata – She can open a bottle of beer with her enormous tits!
* Bateto – King of the Olympic undergames. Johnny Walker’s biggest fan.
* Slavi Trifonov – Pseudo patriot.
* Simeon I – kicked the ass of the Byzantine Empire many, many times.
* Simeon II – a sad imitation of the first one.
* Tsar Kaloyan – kicked the ass of nearly everything. He was known as the medieval Steven Seagal.
* Al Bundy the Great – founder of the fist national sperm bank in 1476.
И завършва с прелестен постер на Азис.
Смешен или плачевен е съвременния бай-ганьовски образ на България по света?